Sports

In conversation with Lalit Modi

A statistical analysis of Lalit Modi’s recent 5 minute impromptu interview with the former beefcake of Indian Cricket, Ravi Shastri.

No of times Lalit Modi said the word TRP in a sentence – 15

No of times Lalit Modi said the word “Merchandise” in a sentence – 13

No of times Lalit Modi said the word “Sponsors” in a sentence – 19

No of times Lalit Modi said “Soldout Tickets” in a sentence : 23

No of times Ravi Shastri said “cheerleaders” in a sentence – 21

And you thought the IPL was about the cricket.

My Excuse for a Post

I had a crush on Brett Lee for 4 years. But now I know where his heart really is.
Why, Brett, WHY?

Sigh. This always happens with all the boys I like.

UPDATE: The video is no longer working because BCCI has some copyright issues. 
Anyhow, the above video, a charming display of male affection goes like this: 
Ishant Sharma, the tall, long-haired charmer runs up the pitch, the opposite end 
of which the unbelievably good looking Brett Lee stands. As he looks at the golden
haired, light eyed chunk-a-hunk his heart skips several beats, his hand becomes
unexplainably sweaty which makes him lose his grip on the ball and his delivery ends up as
a short pitched bouncer which hits Brett on his shoulder and makes him fall 

(in slow motion, courtesy action replay). Ishant is horrified, of course. He didn’t 
mean to hurt the man who had just caused butterflies to somersault in his heart. 
He stares, not knowing what to do. Brett looks at him. There is an instant 
connection, for their hearts share the same thoughts. He flashes his disarming 
smile and blows a kiss in Ishant’s direction.
Mmmmmuah!

Ok so I might have exaggerated a little bit.

Monkey say, monkey do.

We are dignified people, we shall take victories and losses in equal grace but call me a monkey and give me dreadlocks it sure feels good to go IN YOUR FACE, SUCKERS!. Amen.

I pity Harbhajan Singh, the poor guy is facing so much flak because he said ‘monkey’. Mind, if saying ‘monkey’ were a crime, my parents would have been jailed for multiple offenses a very long time back.
[Especially my dad. He has really creative ways of saying it, i.e ‘joker monkey’, ‘monkey brain’, ‘mad monkey’ and sometimes even combinations – ‘mad joker monkey’ etc. My mother prefers ‘koranngu’].
The point being, ol’ bhajji could have said a million other things but he went for monkey. I believe, strongly that monkey is not a racist term in any aspect. More so because –
1.Monkeys do not refer to colour/race in any way.
2.Hell, we were all monkeys once.
3.It could have been a compliment, monkeys are revered in India.

What the Indian team really needs is a sledging ‘Mental Disintegration’ coach (I do believe Australia is in possession of one). Someone experienced, someone who can swear in multiple languages and someone who can throw words without being even mildly apologetic about it. Someone like my mom when she’s driving in T.Nagar.

Oh yes.

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