Ambujam had just received her admit letter for her Masters into the Sakthi Mariamman College of Science and Aarts (extra ‘a’ for numerology, ofcourse) in New York. The address on the letter said it was somewhere around Buffalo. Ha! Thought Ambujam. Here they are, talking about sophistication, when they have entire areas named after erumamaadus. But, America was America. The time had come for her to change.

Preparation was key. Months of mugging up the old Cosmos that she had bought for Rs.10 a piece from Murugan Paper Weights Shop had taught her that (apart from 23497 ways to satisfy her man, NOW!). And naturally, she had thought of everything – even the nickname for that white guy she was going to date to use on her blog: Paanagam. Scoff all you want, but the thought process that went into this name is amazing. Can’t you see the post where she breaks up with him? “Paanagam” she’ll write. “You are sweet. But a little too sweet for me.”

Pure. Genius.

Biscuits were now cookies. Petrol, was gas. (but gas remained to be gas as well. Ambujam found Americans efficient like that). Saravana Bhavan mini-tiffin-parcel, take out. Thankfully, Thayir Saadham was spared.

Wardrobes, apart from Facebook statuses had to be updated. This was her one big chance to metamorphize into the Naidu Hall model she had always aspired to be, while simultaneously telling the world how much she missed her city. While the latter would probably invite a couple of “ei what ya yesterday only I saw you vettifying gobi 65 at bhagya” comments, she was not fazed.

Ambujam had arrived.