In March this year, my parents announced that they were going to start looking for a “suitable boy” for me. I wasn’t particularly surprised, but I did try, initially, to give them the “I’ll find a boy myself” dialogue, which was met with my parents roaring with laughter, after which I stopped trying to give them that, because who was I kidding anyway – I wasn’t capable of finding my own phone most of the time, so suffice to say that finding “suitable” boys wasn’t really a part of my skill set. 
Fast forward many, many tantrums (me) and abnormal blood pressure levels (my parents) to today, I am engaged. I KNOW, RIGHT?! It’s been a little more than a month since I’ve been engaged. I waited this long for it to sink in, but it still hasn’t.  Maybe it was a little too much on my part to assume that there was going to be this great change which involved the skies parting and a holy game show voice from the heavens announcing that my life was to change forever. Life is still the same, but a little different, kind of like consecutive Harris Jayaraj songs.  
A lot of people to whom I broke the news to are really happy that I am getting married at the age of twenty four, which I find pretty interesting because to be honest, I had been secretly preparing myself for the “You’re getting married NOW? But you’re only as old as a baby-foetus!” speeches.  So when people tell me I’ve made the right decision by deciding to wed now, it sounds great, like I’ve put a great deal of thought into it, outlined pros and cons in some important looking notepad (with flowcharts!) and everything, but truth be told the primary reason I decided to get married now is because I wanted to look nice (while I still could) in the wedding photographs. Like, priorities.

Speaking of weddings, I would be lying through my teeth, gums even, if I said I had no idea about how I wanted my wedding to be before all this really happened. I had a vague idea, ok no, I had a good idea, ok fine, I had been planning the entire ceremony in my head the last couple of years, including invites, a wedding food menu, three alternate colour schemes for the decor, what I’d wear, everything. Well, almost everything – I hadn’t thought about this one minor detail concerning who the boy I’d actually marry would be. Insignificant stuff. 
So naturally, at the start, I was pretty protective of my very own fairy tale wedding that I had conjured in my head (and in my Pinterest account), and when people started giving me suggestions about what to do, I’d give them the same reaction that most people would when you ask them to surgically alter their baby’s face. But soon I realized how much WORK all of this was and that if I was to get into everything, I’d be well on my way to getting permanent residence in the asylum at Kilpauk. It was at that moment, that my inner organizational genius awoke and I realized, that the key to planning a successful wedding is efficiency, a resolve of steel and advanced organizational skill. Once I attained this moment of enlightenment, I most efficiently dumped as many responsibilities as I could on my mother before she could realize what was happening.  
Yes, I might not get to choose my invites, I might not get to choose my wedding food menu, I might not get to choose the décor, and I might not get to choose most of what is going to happen around me those two days, but I’m not too worried about it. After all, I got to choose the boy. 

56 Comments on Like A Telephone

  1. haha atleast you're optimistic about it. For my all weddings are a nightmare, including my own. The waking-up at un-Godly hours, since all weddings start at 4 am or something for the bride. Changing a dozen sarees and make up to match. A few hundred ceremonies. When the thali time came I think I was even dozing off a little.

    All this aside, congratulations!

  2. Many congratulations. One can only hope that you continue to keep chutneycase alive and kicking, with all the new outlook marriage could potentially bring.
    All the very best to you!

  3. OMG! You make even getting engaged sound funny. :–)
    Congrats! Share some pics! :–)
    Psst, I got married when I was 24 (and 10months) too, lot of fun! ;–)

    • 😀 My wife was 22 when we got married 😀

      We were discussing the advantages yesterday.

      1. You can have spend a lot of quality time with your partner before you have kids

      2. Both of you have flexibility in terms of career.

      3 Less cynical


  4. Congratulations Lavanya!!

    definitely getting married early is more fun. You will grow together and create much more lovelier memories with each other along the way.

  5. Hey Lavanya,

    Congrats on your engagament and all the best for the big day!
    I happened to Stumbled on this blog of yours and liked what I read! I got married 2 weeks back and what you wrote is pretty close to what I felt when I was engaged ( Well leaving aside the menu and decor planning part!)….Could relate to all that awesome feeling!!

    Cheers for all the good times ahead for you!

    Congrats again!

  6. Congrats Lavanya… Even though you didn't mention anything about the boy (insignificant part of the whole story, I know), I hope he would be as thrilled about the wedding as you are.

  7. Congrats 🙂 I did see your engagement pic which you'd uploaded in twitter, You looked absolutely goegeous.

    Well, a lady always plans to have a fairy tale wedding and most often we are so glued on to the aspects of planning, significant stuff like food, theme and decor and dresses that we forget the insignificant part, the groom as you said 🙂

    I don't know when and to whom I'll get married but the details remain clear, in my mind 🙂

    All the best and Wishing You all the luck in the world as You take another step in life 🙂

  8. Congratulations…Do keep writing all the fun stories from your post engagement era…And enjoy and cherish these days..because most of the fun does not last much 🙂 people get bored having fun everyday with the same person..and you end up being too comfortable just being around the other person ..

  9. Hmmm..interesting route to efficiency and selection of responsibilities. Also good for the boy. He will get a marriage more beautiful than the wedding itself.

  10. Hi Lavanya, as a feminist how do you reconcile going the arranged marriage route? I've received a lot of criticism for suggesting that arranged marriages are not inherently anti-feminist, but people have this perception that somehow love marriage is the only 'correct' route for a feminist to marry. Thoughts?

    • Feminism for me, essentially is about empowering yourself as a woman – Modern arranged marriages are a lot different from what they used to be, so it's ridiculous that it's considered as a form of oppression or some such, especially in the context of urban, middle class India. I made the decision to take the arranged marriage route because as far as I was concerned, that was the best for me. It all boils down to personal choice, I suppose – and when it's you who is doing the choosing for yourself, I don't think there's anything repressive about it.

  11. CA weds a Lawyer/journo. Ah!.. Well , well. Time for all singles (like me) to read these thoroughly again and again. Ho my gawd. Girls think soooo much. Trust me, guys have triple times of thoughts on how it shud go. Nice. Ur tweets, ur blogs and ur guy will make u feel more special in forthcoming days. *high five*

  12. I am a long time reader of your blog. Congratulations 🙂
    I may have to go down this path soon and choosing someone in such a short span of knowing that person is scaring the hell out of me!! Some gyan on this would be helpful! 🙂

  13. Congratulaions 🙂 I've practically read all your posts and suddenly you seem all grown up and in a different cadre now that you're engaged somehow, like it matters 🙂 Am three years younger but believe me my parents have already chartered my future better than stars and they believe 24 is the sound age too 😉 well hoping a nice post on how the actual choosing process went 🙂

  14. You are engaged?? *CRUNCH*

  15. Wow! Congrats! Chutney, Who is the lucky Iddli! I am sure it will be one helluva good combination! God Bless.

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