The family made a trip to the ancestral village (and many many temples) last weekend. I jumped at the opportunity, ofcourse. It was my one big chance to write that moving documentary on India’s Rural Landscapes, which would eventually pave it’s way into becoming the inspiration behind the script of the next Bharatiraaja movie, and stand as our family’s greatest achievement, and maybe even overshadow 1970s-IIT athimber’s letter to The Hindu. “Did you hear?” they would say in the next family gathering (I say gathering and not get together/function, because ours gossips at deaths too. But not about the deceased of course. We save that for the next death. Keep it classy, people) “She wrote a moving documentary on the rural landscapes of India which eventually paved it’s way into becoming the inspiration for the next Bharatiraaja movie!” 
“Really? How nice. Did you hear Calcutta Paati’s grand daughter eloped?” 
Because you know, only a true achievement would be discussed before someone eloping. 
Unfortunately, the only landscape I got to investigate the entire weekend was that of my digestive system’s since I had (most predictably) succumbed to travel sickness. But, but. During my  fleeting stay in the village I discovered something that could change my life forever. 
Lots of cows. Managing cows. Mooing cows. Healthy cows. Cheese. Paneer. Milk. Ramaraj. Maybe not Ramaraj, but it was definitely something that could change my life forever. Even if it didn’t, it seemed like a pretty great excuse to sell to my father at that time to avoid the heart burn/attack/pain/brain hemorrhage etc of writing CA Final in case I flunked again, which was a very real possibility.  
“Appa, who takes care of all these cows?”
“In the village, I think every one has their own set of cows. I don’t think one person owns them all.”
“Is there a Dairy Farm close by?”
“No, I don’t think so. But considering the number of cows here, and the space available, there should be.”
“I think I should start one. It would be a great alternate career if results aren’t in my favor.”
“Hahahahahaha! Definitely. If you’d known this was what you wanted to do before, you needn’t have studied so much! But let me ask you something, you’re sure you’ll go around telling people that you’re taking care of a bunch of cows?”
“Ha. I thought about this, so I came up with an excellent name for my organization.  I’ll call it Kamalapuram Pasu Management Group. So if anyone asks anything, I’ll be like Oh, I’m the Director at KPMG!” 
My father laughed uproariously for twenty minutes.

“Hehe.” I offered.

“You’re joking only no?”

“Not really.”

And he laughed for twenty more. 

PS: BY THE BYS! Results did turn out in my favour! I’m a Chartered Accountant now! But I still think the Dairy Farm is a great idea.
PPS: Pasu is tamil for cow.

71 Comments on On Cows

  1. Congrats on the CA! I cant imagine how you did it!! I'd have had to do the bridging course first and then 2years of CA. Not happening 😛

    Hahaha…I could then tell everyone you worked for a rival firm as well

  2. Hahahaha!!! 
    My father would probably leave me with the Pasus even if I was only joking. I didn't get into IIT first and now if I want to look after cows instead of going to America, what will he tell everyone?Ps: Congrats!!

  3. congrats.. now that u completed the singular achievement and already landed the Director's post at KPMG, can we expect more frequent posts.. 🙂

  4. My dad used to suggest this career for me every time I scored two marks less than the topper-girl in cycle tests! Though not at the management level, but more at the employee-level (Rendu maadu vaangi tharen, poyi meyi!) (It was always just two cows for some reason, maybe he realized me natural limitations even there). Still keeping options open.

  5. Congratulations on the C.A! *It's* a wonderful achievement. A dairy farm is a good idea, but *its* scope is limited.

    See how I am cleverly mean to you?

  6.  Congratulations!

    BTW, "it's" means "it is" or "it has". The possessive / genitive of "it" is "its", which has no apostrophe.

  7. Years or may be even months later, you will come back to this post and wonder why you did not do this.
    Congratulations ;incidentally working with KPMG, the real audit one.

  8. Its such as you learn my mind! You appear to understand so much approximately this, like you wrote the guide in it or something. I believe that you can do with some % to force the message house a little bit, however other than that, this is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ll certainly be back.
    love sms

  9. vanden daa paal kaaren, ada-daaa; pasu maatu patti paada pooren….pullu kudutaa….paal kudukum…..maybe you can audit KPMG's results. 

  10. dear lavanya, congratulations for your exam results. very happy for you.
    i am a regular reader of your blog. it is the best time pass activity for me after i decided to stay at home as a home maker.
    you are really very very good with words girlie…
    keep writing….
    take care…

    obli priya dharshika

  11. and the first blog which i read was 'deviance' in 2008. the link to that was shared to me and many others ( almost everyone) in my office ( hewlett packard ) by a colleague…it was totally awesome..i have been following you since then…i admire the ease with which you write… you are really excellent…keep up the good work…

  12. neenga KPMG director aiteenga na, enakku oru velai pottu kudungo, please. chinna vayasulaye appa poi madu meyi da nu solluvar.

  13. Congrats on the CA (may not necessarily be a good thing though :P) but im sure its a relief to be on the right side of the exam…I say forget auditing n whatnot – Go for the dairy farm…it IS a great idea…:)
    "keep it classy people" – good one lmao…

  14. First of all congratulations on your becoming a CA!! Welcome to the fraternity (isnt that a sexist word??!!) I have been following your blog for a while now, and yes, you do have a very engaging way with words. Being a fellow Tam Brahm your blog has a very high readability quotient for me!
    Do not let your new found status impede your continuing the blog. wishing you all the very best!
    P.S. I am way senior to you in the profession probably a peer of your dad!

  15. Love your writing, started following your blog only very recently but it is refreshing. Also, I wonder how a voracious beef eating mallu would have to say about this post, I am sure they would think differently when it comes to cows interesting them – it's mostly on the dinner table. 

    Anyhow, keep writing. Besh besh, prmadham!

  16. Lovely!
    "keep it classy" and 'KPMG'- Hilarious.
    I've wanted to write like you (the witty, funny satirical way of expressing daily life) and I must say you are excellent and I can't help admire your smooth flow and humour.
    P.S. veetla suthi poda siollu:P

  17. I have been reading you for a while now. You already know you write well and it is like second nature to you, but do you know you have the ability to make a man fall for you by your witty writing? You would've changed the famous 'a way to a man's heart is through his stomach' to ' a way to a man's heart is through your writing' !!! keep going — humor is a rarity these days. Let's keep it alive 🙂 God bless!

  18. Hi Lavanya… Congrats … i am feeling good now ..
    Felt bad after I publically asked about your results last time ..

    Now go do some more audits !! .. vouch and verify !! 🙂

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