Month: June 2010

42

Six thirty in the gym,
I was wondering what to do
Aimless on the floor
And then I saw you
Six feet tall
And oh so fair
I knew you’d be older
But I didn’t really care
You looked like a God, 
Half Perumal, half Greek
You were the kind of maaplai
My parents wanted to seek
I ran on the treadmill
Didn’t notice my feet go sore
All I saw was you.
And then, some more. 
I thought it was infatuation
Harmless and hormonal, 
But it became something more
The moment I saw your poonal
And so I asked my Trainer
Cause Information is wealth
But then what he told me
Wasn’t good for my health. 
My heart was broken
The sky fell on my head
Nothing could console me
Not even Nutella on bread. 
Tell me why, dear God
Tell me why, did you
Make the man of my dreams
Married and 42? 
The battle may be lost
But the war could be won
Please, Hot Maama
Tell me you have a son. 

Hindi Movie

Overheard at office: 

“Machi, endha padathukkum ticket illa da”
[Dude there are no tickets for any movie]
“Seri ya paathiya? Endha padathukkum illiya?”
[Are you sure?]
“Aamanda hindi padathukku dhaan irukku”
[Yea man, there’s a hindi movie though]
Hindi a? Enda padam?”
[Hindi? What film?]

Irumbu Kottai Murattu Singam

Among all the genres in tamil cinema that have been tried, tested, put in the washing machine and spin dried, the one that has got the least attention in the recent past has been undoubtedly the “western”. While the 70’s and the 80’s saw plenty of these movies (Most notable and badass Tamil cowboy being JaiShankar, who continued to win hearts among the next generation and the generations to come through notable performances like “that dance” in the film Arunachalam), the recent decade didn’t see any kind of Cowboy movie – in fact I think the last pseudo Tamil Western that hit the screens was Rajnikanth’s Murattu Singam   Kaalai (Correct me if I’m wrong Thank you!).
IKMS does not attempt to be a genuine western. That is probably the movie’s biggest advantage as well as it’s biggest handicap. There is a lot of spoofing and a lot of irreverence – and that’s not a bad thing, just that it doesn’t make you want to take the movie seriously in the parts that it wants to make a statement.
The movie traces the story of Singaram, a pseudo simpleton who is kidnapped by a group of men from the next village because he is a spitting image of their local hero Singam, who had disappeared some years back. Due to Singam’s disappearance, the bad guys from Irumbu Kottai are wreaking havoc. Singaram’s transformation into Singam pretty much forms the rest of the story.
But the movie does have its moments – if you’re a Curry Western fan like me, you’d enjoy ticking off each reference in the movie – from Asokan to Major Sundarrajan (There is even a scene where they chance upon an ID card belonging to “Mr.Jones” in an abandoned cave) and even if you aren’t, you’d enjoy it anyway.
MS Bhaskar as the ‘Pure Vegetarian’ Indian chief Athrikesa and his translator Swaminathan (from Crazy Mohan’s drama troupe) are particularly hilarious. The star cast in the movie is very heavy duty – apart from director Mouli, there is Nasser, Senthil (yes, THE Senthil), Manoramma, Delhi Ganesh, Padma Priya, Lakshmi Rai and Sandhya (of Kaadhal fame. Somehow, saying ‘kaadhal sandhya’ just sounds so…wrong). But even the star ensemble does not prevent disappointment during the last one hour, when the movie shifts tracks from epic to epic-fail. Chimbudevan clearly allowed his enthusiasm for the genre to take over and end result, he completely ruins the movie for the audience. There was a point in time during the last one hour when I actually wanted to bolt from the theatre notwithstanding the ticket cost or the fact that I’d be abandoning the company I was with.
Thankfully, my patience prevailed.
IKMS, for me, was a movie with so much potential – If only Chimbudevan hadn’t got carried away, it may have well been the movie of the summer. Do give the movie a watch if you are a Curry Western fan and/or have a bit of extra time to spare.

Promises, like pie crusts…

…are made to be broken. Contrary to what most people are thinking, I have not been eaten by a crocodile. I have been eaten, by homework and classes which, as the wise men would tell you, are more evil than all the crocodiles in the world put together. 
The 30 day experiment doesn’t end though – I will update as much as I can. 🙂

Crush

My sister was watching TV when the channel started playing a song from Alaipayuthey.

It was probably the millionth time I was watching it, as well as the millionth time I had that stupid grin on my face when I saw Madhavan prance about awkwardly. More than Madhavan, I think that grin was for Karthik, his character in the movie. Karthik pretty much epitomized every thing I’ve ever wanted in a guy – charming, intelligent and most importantly, he wasn’t afraid to get what he wanted.
So actuall-a paatha (Simbu in Vinnathaandi Varuvaaya. Yes. Same feel) my first crush wasn’t Madhavan. It was Karthik.
Who was yours?

The Non Co-operation Movement

Last week marked my first on-road fight. Usually, I’m a staunch follower of ahimsa on the roads – I always give way to the motorists and other odd vehicles that cross my path, I don’t honk for no apparent reason, I wait for the signal to turn green (which qualifies me to be somewhat of a rare breed on the roads of this city) and hell, I even smile at the auto guys who curse me. Come to think of it now, it’s only resulted in more cuss words thrown at my direction. Which is pretty dumb, I mean, hello, auto anna, ever heard of chivalry?
I digress – point being, I’ve never really allowed myself to get into a fight on the roads of Chennai the one and a half years I’ve been behind the wheel.
Anyway, last week, I was taking my car out of the street but I was stopped halfway because of a Metro Water Tanker Lorry that was supplying water to one of the houses at the beginning of the street. Like most sane people, I waited, after which I honked.
No response.
Not even for my extremely annoying don’t-take-your-hands-off-the-horn-for-10-full-seconds-honk. Clearly, this guy wasn’t going to to budge and I was getting late for work. By this time, there was a buildup of traffic on both sides.
One auto guy stepped out of his vehicle and tapped at my window – “Maydum, reverse pannunga. If you move, atleast us smaller vehicles can go through”
I don’t know about how you guys would have reacted, but I was extremely ticked off. More than the request, it was his tone – the man was acting as though he was running late to present his acquisition proposal to Mukesh Ambani. DEI. Besides, I wasn’t holding up the traffic, the lorry was!
Mudiyadhu sir. Are you the only one who has work? I am also running late, I also have a million things to do. Ask the lorry fellow to move, we can all leave together”. The auto guy was a little taken aback (In all honesty, so was I. I had never raised my voice on the road to anyone before), but he continued his monologue about my reversing and him getting his way so that he could meet Bill Gates by which time I was in total mortal kombat mode.
“I understood the first time, sir. But why should I move? He’s the one blocking all of us! Make him leave this place and we can all go.”
“He will take an hour! Reverse now!”
The auto guy had upped his decibel levels some 10 times now and ofcourse, a mini congretation of other auto drivers similarly stuck in the road had assembled around him.
“Don’t shout, sir. I should give you way and wait for an hour? How’s that fair? Either you ask the lorry driver to move and we all go or you wait for one hour with me. I am not moving, I am not giving any of you way.” I finished.
Severe Bhagat Singh Feel.
By this time, my driver,had also traipsed to the spot. Clearly, he had been seeking some early morning entertainment but the moment he noticed that I was the reason for the auto kaaran’s blood pressure, he jumped to open my door – “Amma, vella vaanga ma” he said to me before he turned to the Autokaaran General Assembly.
Venda anna, don’t mind her. Periya edathu ponnu*”
Periya edathu ponnu it seems. If there was one thing my driver was better at than driving, it was giving buildup. Initially, I didn’t want to give way to my driver either, because of the burning desire to continue fighting for my noble cause, but something told me that if I didn’t budge, I might be subject to some extreme autokaaran abuse.
I got out and let him do the reversing, trying my best to maintain my Damn-I’m-late-for-my-breakfast-meeting-with-Karunanidhi look as I waited. Eventually, the traffic cleared, and I even smiled at the at the auto guy who cussed as he crossed my way. I’m nice like that.
Finally I landed up in office and told my colleague T about the morning’s events (with a hint of pride, may I add).
“Wait.” she said as I finished narrating my heroics. “You invited the wrath of around a dozen psycho autokaarans for what purpose, exactly?”
“To clear the traffic?”
“And do what?”
“Come to office on time?”
“And do what?”
I don’t like these experiences with morals.
* Periya Edathu Ponnu – crudely translated to “big place girl”, if you know what I mean.

An Experiment

Do you know what makes me sad? Looking at my archives and seeing a (0) next to May 2010. This is the first time I’ve gone without updating for a month. I am not disappointed in myself or anything – that’s impossible, for the simple reason that I’m awesome. 😛 I just wish I had been a little less busy.
Anyway, I was thinking – It has been really hard for me to get down and write these days because I want to write all these fancy posts, which eventually led to procrastination. So I propose, an experiment. For the next 30 days, I will post everyday. It won’t be too long, it might not even be funny, but it’ll be there everyday. Promise!
Unless ofcourse I am eaten by a crocodile. Or something.
If you really think I should stop, feel free to let me know 🙂