Month: December 2008

Balle Balle

Parampreet Singh, or Pappu as the rest of the world knew him, was like any other man. He craved for the same things everyone did – money, playboy bunnies and red Lamborginis. But the one thing Pappu craved for more than anything was to find his true love. In his quest to find the kudi of his dreams, Pappu traveled far and wide and his mission finally took him to Bangkok, Thailand.

Tucked in a tiny corner of the Big city of Bangkok was Madam Ko’s massage parlour. Pappu had initially gone there to compare Madam Ko’s back massage to Monty ‘Bailwan-ji’ Singh’s back home. But instead he saw the girl of his dreams. 

Yes, Lauw feelings ho gaya. 

She was no more than 5.2” with jet black hair and jasmine white skin. The Golden Temple in Pappu’s head had immediately lit up. “Masseuse-ji masseuse-ji, I am in love-ji. With you-ji! Please-ji, come back with me to Punjab-ji.”

How could masseuse-ji not accept such a romantic proposal? Pappu whisked her away to Punjab where the marriage took place amidst much pomp and show. Pappu’s relatives however, where a little disappointed over his firangi-ji bride.

“Arre! What is this Bunty-ji! Marrying off your son-ji to a firangi-ji!” exclaimed one particular aunt to his father.

“Haan-ji, that too to a massage lady-ji!” added another.

Bunty-ji simply looked at her, and then the sky. “Kya karoon, Mona-ji. Rub ne bana de jodi”

In Pattu We Trust

The SICASA (South Indian Chartered Accountant Student Assosciation) conference was held on the 17th and 18th of December. I had expected some deathly boring sessions with one technical paper after another being catapulted at us.
I was mostly right. But you know what they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

No, No I’m not talking about the free food they gave us there. It was Pattu Sir’s (My Financial Management teacher) presentation. More than the presentation, it was this one video.

Disclaimer : Its not a funny vid by any means. Its inspirational type and it kicks ass!

Well now you know why, In Pattu We Trust.

You can read his entire speech over at his blog

Kalyanam Chronicles

How can you not love Indian Weddings? The smoke, the noise, the Mama (Purohit) shouting at everyone and of course, the hapless bride and groom who have no clue about what’s happening to them amidst the sea of people so fervently trying to shake their hand. I personally love weddings, even though every wedding has at least 5 incidences of complete strangers pinching my cheeks and asking me to recognize them, along with a compulsory comment about my growth rate.
Of all my favourite marriage memories is the one that happened 2, or maybe 3 years ago, takes the cake. I was a lass of 17 then, naïve as ever, with the charm and the grace of an elephant in a tutu. It was yet another one of those weddings, full of pomp and smoke, and midway during the Kasi Yatra ceremony, (yes, that is when the groom supposedly walks out of the wedding with a handy umbrella saying he wants to become a single dude for life and the father of the bride rushes out to convince him to marry his daughter) was when I saw him.
He was tall, maybe 5 feet and 10 inches, give or take, not very fair, not very dark, a killer smile, great hair which flopped over his sricharnam-ed forehead and a lean physique.  Bharathiraja movie soundtracks started playing in my head. And I, of course, in a very ladylike fashion, stared at him through out the whole ceremony with my mouth hanging open.   
I am to believe that till date, thankfully, he didn’t notice the creepy girl, because he smiled at me once the ceremony was over. While people around me will say that it was one of those “ok-weird-woman-now-that-i-smiled-you-can-stop-staring” smiles, I’d like to think it was an “I’m-so-charmed” smile. Well, now you know why they call me the eternal optimist.
An hour or so later, after finishing lunch, I saw him, talking quite animatedly with my mother. What luck! I thought to myself. Now I’ll finally know who he is.  Making sure he was out of earshot, I asked my mother in a very casual tone as to who the young man she was talking to so spiritedly was. My mother raised her eyebrows, which was surprising considering I was being so casual. Maybe the fact that my eyes were popping out of their sockets gave me away.
“Avan a?” 
(him?)
“Aama ma, yaaradhu? Na avana munaadi paathadhe illa” 
(Yea, I’ve never seen him before)
“Avan dhaan X oda peran” (He’s X’s grandson) Offered my mother very helpfully, unaware of the fact that I may not have a sprinkling of an idea as to who X was.
“Adhu yaaru ma X?” 
(who’s X?)
“X di. Y paati is there no, her brother’s grandson.”
“Y paati a?”
“Aiyo, Y paati! Your paati is there no, Y paati is her cousin. You must have seen her in P’s wedding”
My mother, once again was ignorant of the fact that I may not have any living memory of P’s wedding considering I was only 6 then. All I cared about weddings then was whether ice cream would be served at the end of the meal and playing musical chairs with myself. 
“Therila…nyaabagum illa” 
(Dunno…don’t remember)
“Ippo unakku ennadi venum?”
(What do you want now?)
“Illa…andha payyan enaku epdi related?”
(no…how’s that guy related to me?)
“Very simple di. He’s Y paati’s brother X’s grandson.”
“Sollu ma…” I poked, hoping she’d say something like mora-payyan (In my defense, I had been diagnosed with the deadly disease Magnificus Salivatis, commonly known as Jollaria. Also I was but an inexperienced child of 17)
“Unakku avan Anna”
Anna. Brother.
Have you seen those moments in the cartoons where glass breaks, and everything comes to a screeching halt. It was one of those moments. Brother apparently.  I watched my mother talk to yet another aunty I didn’t recognize. But turned out she knew me and had very fond memories of me pissing on her saree when she came to my house 14 years ago. Just as I was about to give her my well rehearsed fake smile, I noticed a very very good looking boy standing behind her.
“This is my son ma, H. Nyaabagum irukka? You’ve played with him and all.”
As he flashed his dimples, I sincerely wished I remembered.
As the middle aged women continued their conversation, H started talking. I don’t remember what he talked about or what we talked considering I was paying more attention to his dimples. But I remembered only one thing. The show must go on. 

Thanks, Gracias, Nandri, Merci….

I am the honoured recipient of a certain award which recognizes blogging excellence. This, was awarded to me by Mr.Maxdavinci , celebrity blogger and random likeminded crazy person. Thank you max, I am feeling really really proud of myself. Ofcourse, had you not included me in that list, there would have been some consequences which may have involved an auto and some thugs, but what’s a fight among friends, eh?
I’ve been blogging for almost 3 years, although I started over about a year and a half now, can’t believe its been that long. It’s a great hobby and I got to meet some great people too. So its been good fun and popularity is an awesome feeling. 
A little more about the recipient of this award (Surprising as it is, I can never get tired of talking about myself) Max called me “A chirpy CA by day and photoshopper by night”. Sounds great, but a couple of clarifications. I piss people off in the day and sleep in the night. But yea, what he said, what he said! 
So to get this award, I need to do this tag, which requires me to list down 5 posts which were lifted from the depths of my archives, related to 5 keywords.   
1. Family. My family mainly consists of screwballs. But very pleasant screwballs, each one twisted in their own special way. And we love each other. A total Awww moment, I know. More about these wonderfully wonderful people, here , here and here .  
2. Friends. I have hung out with the same people from kindergarden. Its the same gang. We’ve stuck together, which increases our awesomeness. I am full of louwes for my classmates who’ve managed to put up with me for all this time! Speaking of good friends, this was a really nice post . 
3. Yourself. I never get tired of this. Enough talking. More linking, more linking! .
4. Your love. The love of my life at the moment. Seriously.  
5. Anything I like. My extreme passions in life are sleeping, eating and making fun of people, but not necessarily in that order. But here’s another .   
I’m supposed to tag people for this. But I can’t pick! What can I say, you’re all special to me! With that extremely lame excuse for outrightly outrageous laziness, I will click on the publish post button. 
Thanks again! 

It’s a wild world

The fuel crisis today, has pushed many people out of business, but the Gulf continues to prosper. It seems that the Arabs have found an alternative means of finance out of rearing cows. And pretty soon, the Middle East is going to be full of these self proclaimed Milk-Sheikhs.

Speaking of the middle east, the people of the land are completely vexed over the many security issues plaguing them. The locals strongly attribute their trauma to the Bush administration, and more so its inefficient Secretary of State who, they believe, didn’t Rice to the occasion.

Entertainment news now, and apparently a popular Victoria’s Secret Model has admitted herself into the Intensive Care Unit of a prestigious hospital in Mumbai right out of her continuous 20 hour Intercontinental flight. The hospital’s experts have concluded her illness to jetty lag.

In related news, a Calvin Klein underwear model stormed into the premises of the Worldspace radio network today, stating that he wanted to be a Jockey.

On other news, the neighborhood psycho couple have filed for divorce over an unhappy sex life. Sources confirm that their relationship could only have been “absolutely mental”

Source : CNN – Chutney News Network