Month: December 2007

Senior

Haiye, myself ronnjith bahoo, articull ajistant stedying CA in Chennoi.
I am wraiting this begause my juniors, that Cogonut gerl espesialy are being bad gerls and making fun of me.
I am bajically frem Orissa, I came to Chennoi to do CA. My englees is debective begause I study oriya medium. I layke dooink CA, I think it is bery interesting jaab. Butt onlee praablem is that my juniors is not doing werk, but taking resht all dha tayime and loffing.
I yam trying to lerrn tamil, butt itt is bery confujing, i leesan to my juniors phone-talking but they are theenking that I am poking my nose in theyur bijiness. How can I lerrn tamil when I can’t leesan to complete conversations ya? And I think that both those gerls talk about baais. Thees not aage to talk about baais, thees age to study, talk about baais after marriage no?
I am not being able to understand, when there is Anna Naggar, whoy is there no Akka Nagar? Chennoi is confoosing that way.
Butt baysht part about Chennoi is Saravuna Bhaven, it is the bayst. Espesialy that Peter’s Road branch no, yes, bayst. Whan I was doing Royal Sundarrum Odit, I ate in Saravuna Bhavan faar 6 months ya, but I nayver felt bored. Every day I had Kaju Masala, but sometimes, I got leetil leetil bored. That time no, I had Masala Kaju.
Caming to my juniors, this Cogonut gerl has no saynse of profejanal yethicks. Ya, jast because cliyent pays, doesn’t mean you are able to do whatever you wants. This gerl no? Found out that cliyent office has internaysonal call fajilities, so she askkid me if she could make internaysonal call! I am shocked so I am asking her who you know in internaysonal?And she is starting to loff girl-ly. So I am also getting loff. So I said, I know I am late today but thaank gad that you askked permijon, you are not supposed to do these things. She is simply starting to loff again, but she said ok-ok. I theenk she made internaysonal call when I was late, I doesn’t know.
Ok, I doesn’t know what else to say, come ya, lets go to Saravuna Bhavun and eat Kaju Masala.

I have had a very long day, don’t ask – Coconut Chutney

Quote, Unquote

Excerpts of some of the best conversations I have ever had/heard. Enjoy.

[Me and shweta {office buddy} are discussing a person of common interest, let’s call him X]

Me: I really don’t know if he’s the type who would move on quickly and fall for some other random hot girl, just like that.
*pause*
I wonder if I’m capable of that.

Shweta: But you’re not like that.

Me: How are you so sure?

Shweta: Yeah, obviously, you wouldn’t fall for random hot girls.

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Amma: Varsha…?!

Varsha: Aiyo amma, I didn’t do it!

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[Me and my cousin Ashwin discuss family issues….]

Me: So Ashwin, I heard someone asked V (cousin) out…

Ashwin: I want to see that guy who went on one knee and proposed to her, I want to make him go on that same one knee and I want to fart on his face!

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Me: Well, when I was 12 people kept telling me that I would be a teenager soon and have tons of fun so, I couldn’t wait to be 13, when I was 13, I couldn’t wait to be 14, when I was 14, I couldn’t wait to be 15, when I was 15, I couldn’t wait to be 16, when I was 16, I couldn’t wait to be 17, when I was 17 I couldn’t wait to be 18. Now I’m 18, and I’m still waiting for the fun to start.

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[Fifth Standard]

Teacher: Children, who among you can draw well?
Swathi V (full enthu) : Ma’am!! Tarun is a very good drawer ma’am!
Tarun (gets tension): Drawer a? Podi jetty!

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[R is a cousin, and M is her husband and hence my Athimber]

R: M, there are girls in the discotheque who are wearing super short skirts. One gust of wind and everything’s out in the open.
M: I don’t wish to see all that…
R: Wow, I never knew I had such a loyal husband.
M: Nah, Its just that I prefer porn.

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“Yaaravum ennakode Pesamaatingala?”
– *name withheld*’s attempt at Tamil, his finest hour.

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[Overheard in 12B bus]

X:Maamey, indha bus paandy bajar dhaana pogum?
Y: Illa da, indha bus road-la dhaan pogum.
X: Ivvura paara comedy time panraaru. Dha thu savagiraati!

(I’m sorry, but translating it will kinda ruin the whole thing)
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Auto guy: Watha myrrandi! ootanda sollitu vandhiya? (swearing)
*turns back*
Echoos language ma.

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Played.

My association with the mainstream theatre scene in Chennai is very, very limited (The last proper play I saw was something to do with Chankayashastra and business principles, a 11th standard kaamars shtudends school trip, and my knowledge of theatre personalities is worse, I’m acquainted only with sound guys and the lot).
Not something I’m particularly proud of, but it’s not something I worry about either.
So when Prashant called me for ASAP’s production of “Sketch It” at the Alliance Francaise, I was quite indifferent to the whole deal, all I knew was that I had weekend plans, which was enough to make me happy.
I did do a bit of research before I went though, The Play, apparently was a “breakthrough effort” “a new transformation in the field” since “Its not a complete play as such. It has mimes, skits, and stand ups. All these are elements of theatre but its more like a collage”.
Apparently .
The play started on quite a promising note and started deteriorating with every act.
There were number of different ideas (The sketches varied from “Welcome to Hell” to “First Date” to “Mallu in Bookshop”) that the play had tried to cover but didn’t quite make the grade.

There’s plenty of swearing/finger-popping/innuendo in the show, which can get overbearing after a while – there is a limit to the number of dick jokes we can take. Then there was the whole concept of originality. Sure, the concept of “collage-ing” was all fine and dandy, but flicking Bhagyaraj film jokes (the very very famous “ek gaon mein ek kisaan raghuthatha” scene) is just not it.
Also, some of the acts just weren’t funny – the Indian restaurant in London “gag” didn’t make the mark and the Awards ceremony sketch (where every other theatre group was mercilessly targetted) wasn’t all ho-ho-ho either. The scene with the Wedding Speeches was notably moronic (Fellatio obsessed priest, sexually hyper-active best man, the works).

However, there were genuinely funny moments in the play as well, the Elizabethan parody really hit the spot and so did the “First Date” episode, but the most impressive was the “Invisible Man” concept.
Overall, it was a good effort for two guys on stage facing a half-empty auditorium, nevertheless, something missing somewhere.

Finally:
Watch it if you have absolutely nothing to do or have an intense liking for innuendo fueled humour.

It’s currently playing at The Alliance Francaise – there are 4.00pm & 7.30pm shows, tickets available at Landmark.

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Now playing: Johnny Gaddar – Move your body
via FoxyTunes