VEERASAMY – HEAVEN HELP US
[I wrote this review in my first blog, The Evil Autorickshaw. Now its back on popular request and also to help a friend who will be seeing this epic movie shortly]
Vijaya T Rajendhar is back with his latest offering to us quality-movie-ridden souls : VEERASAMY (Although it would have been more apt to title the movie as “Brother Bear” ) It contains all the necessary ingredients of his trademark movies – A] Himself – as the swashbuckling, righteous, witty, educated, strong, back-belti-doing, karate kicking, never shaving MLA who goes on these random sprees in the city to “correct” the wrongdoers and bring justice to the poor & problem having. He is accompanied by 2 sidekicks constantly, and one of them (Santhanam, of all people! We can only hope he was drunk when he accepted this part) is armed with a camera making TR this mobile tehelka. For example, when a traffic policeman tells the commuter, “konjam vettu”, TR appears from nowhere (which is quite a feat considering his size) and cuts the policeman’s arm with his trusty aruval. When the police guy squeals in pain, TR tells him “nee dhanapa vettunnu sonna, adhanaala vettinaen” and walks the walk while the commuter guy is left wondering about who/what he is. Another time, there is a man who is pissing on the road even after reading the sign saying “siruneer pogadheer”. TR once again jumps into the frame from nowhere and pisses on him!! His reason? There is no sign on the man’s pants saying “don’t piss”! TR thus amazes the audience with his incredible logic and social message. B] Thangachee – The sun rises in the east. Delhi is the capital of India. The sky is blue. Therefore, TR will have thangachee who is nearly 20 years younger, doesn’t resemble him even one inch and will be the sole purpose of his existence. Hence proved. C] Kaadhal – TR’s lady love is none other than Mumtaj. They share a Punidhamaana kaadhal, (peer louwe/pure love) which means she has to keep removing her dhawani in his presence, give him lusty smiles, use his poster as a bedsheet, share a bathtub of aarogya paal, tattoo his name on her chest, steal his soap and use it with aching desire and (this one is the ultimate) drink the water that drips from his beard like “perumal theertham”. GIVE HER THE OSCAR ALREADY!! D] Meesic – TR is the music director of this movie, need I say more? It is like a bhagavatar padam, with songs every two minutes. The re-recording is also of the same quality – the bg music is the same line in different tempos/tunes (avaru mood-a capture panraaram) – “unna kaadhalika oru aayiram paer varuvaanga, aana ennamattum neenga yen therndhetitheenga” TR dancing is the highlight of this movie. One can see that he is quite a trained belly dancer considering his thoppai has a life of its own when he’s dancing. The movie is 150 minutes. If you come out after seeing the whole thing, congratulations. You are truly made up of strong stuff. The city is being run by a corrupt dhadha minister. He is spurred by his keep, Rousu-Rani (the only woman who can give our jackpot Khushboo competition in wearing wacky saree blouses), to try and do some KD things in Veerasamy’s area. His assistants warn him of our jambavan but the minister turns a deaf ear to them. Rouserani comes to his thogudhi but is left insulted by TR who bashes up her rowdies and comes up with his own version of petta-rap : ey, nee porandhadhu pudhupettai
kalyanam pannadhu kannamapettai
Raid aanadhu Ranipettai
Unga aathalukku kaaryam pannadhu chromepettai Etc etc which displays TR’s geographical knowledge of our city. TR is the much respected MLA in his thogudhi and spouts wisdom to all his loyal katchi-kaarans every two minutes and is on a mission to make India the most prosperous country in the world. He is noble and has great respect for his traditions, so much so that he doesn’t allow his thangachee to wear to jeans to college. However, his sister falls in love with the “cool dude” of her college – Arun, a guy (I’m actually not too sure about that) who has a broken natraj pencil going through one of his ears (and thus amplifying his coolness). He is actually Rouserani’s brother, hence causing kozhappam in kudumbam. However, it just so happens that the “glaymer gul” of college, Meghna Naidu is also after him. She wears only itty bitty clothes to college and has hundreds of guys behind her although she wants only Arun. She is the minister’s daughter, gets away with anything that she wants and says stuff like “daddee, enakku idhu veynoooo!” . Charming. TR is facing problems of his own, though with a Veeramami living opposite his house. She is Mumtaj’s mummy who is trying to force her into the family business. Hence veerasamy has to constantly save Mumtaj from perils and romance her. TR however does not commit himself even after sharing the bathtub (they were dreams remember??) and takes a promise from her to never commit suicide. In fact, the theatre people must get a hint from this scene and ask the audience (if any) to not commit suicide before they proceed to watch the movie. Mumtaj is married off by her mummy to the new MLA and leaves our hero in shambles. Mr.Mumtaj and TR contest in elections but TR loses. So TR gives himself morale boost by comparing himself to Sachin Tendulkar. (Ignorance is bliss, truly) Now, due to kudumba prachanais, TR’s thangachee’s and Arun’s marriage don’t go according to plan. This is basically because RouseRani loses in a game of musical chairs with TR during the engagement. So TR will conduct his sister’s marriage with a “handsome” doctor boy whom he prevented from going to the US because he has to do sevai for country (this doctor boy is none other than Rajiv, a PSBBian, Std XII C, batch of 2002-2003…..ack!) However, Meghna Naidu thirundhifies (after rolling with Arun on the bed) and oppadichifies him back to TR’s family. Now TR is in the state of great mental trauma and starts crying, leaving the audience in splits. However, he decides that he is a “veeran” and goes out to kill all those bullies of the minister’s. He then decides that he has to save energy for his sister’s marriage and simply removes his veshti, thus leaving the thugs dead on the spot. His dhoti also falls on Mumtaj (fresh from murdering her hubby), who also dies, naatham thaangamudiyaama. When actual samandhis reach the spot, TR is faced with a barrage of questions that he cannot answer and drops dead. Such is the acting of TR that even after dying, he is able to give expression. “A film by Vijaya T Rajendhar” Me and my father cheer. Turns out we are the only two people left in the theatre. Note: Kindly do not watch this movie if you have heart problems, BP etc. I cannot guarantee
that you will be alive after seeing it.